New York’s The Greatest! (If You Get Someone To Pay The Rent)

The title of this post is taken from LCD Soundsystem’s song “North American Scum”. You should click below to listen while you continue reading…

I’m fortunate to have my job with The Art of Charm for many reasons, but one of my favorite is that it allows me to travel sometimes. Like now, for instance. We are back in NYC for the month of June, tearing it up, and wondering, “Why did we ever leave?”

And then, we remembered–after having spent our whole month’s budget in the first week of living here. “Oh yeah, it’s really expensive!” This isn’t all bad, though, because it will allow us to partake in something we’ve clearly been lacking since eating healthily in Los Angeles: Subway Five Dollar Footlongs!

When I tell people that I live in Hollywood now, many of them are very interested to hear about it. After they finish rolling their eyes and pretending to gag, they often ask “What’s different between Los Angeles and New York?”

Since I’ve fielded this question approximately twelve thousand times upon returning to NY, I’ve prepared a very succinct answer: “Cars and sunshine.” After I answer this question, I generally like to take a long pause (long enough to make my conversational partner nervously consider if they really want to continue discussing this subject) and then I elaborate:

“In LA, everyone drives everywhere. People think we’re crazy because we don’t have a car.” When I tell people that I walk places, they look at my feet with a stunned stare as if they’ve just been told that, “Yes, they can be used for walking!

Also, New York City (specifically Manhattan) has almost zero sunshine… unless you live in a high-rise building, and very high up in it. This is probably my least favorite part of NYC, and also why I was beginning to love Brooklyn before I left. Really, what doesn’t Brooklyn have going for it? Notorious B.I.G., the Brooklyn Brewery, awesome late-night tacos, and sunshine?!

So if you’re still wondering what city is right for you, I’ll sum it up here: If you have or can afford a car, Los Angeles might be right for you (unless you are super-pasty-white and have no desire to become a nice golden tan). If you like having different seasons (that means rain and snow and legitimately “holy-sh**-cold” weather) then you are insane. I mean, then you should live in New York.

Ultimately, I <3 NY. I’ll always see this as my home, and I could see myself living here in the future… but I’m also keeping Los Angeles as my mistress. Sorry, NYC, it’s not you, it’s me. No, don’t cry! We can still be friends. And we’ll always have the summer of 2010 to look back on.

Did I mention that I want to visit Buenos Aires, too? 😉

(Disclaimer: The Art of Charm will be back in NYC often, so saying we “left” isn’t completely accurate, but it sounds better, so deal with it.)

2 Replies to “New York’s The Greatest! (If You Get Someone To Pay The Rent)”

  1. I LOLed at the “no don’t cry…” parts.

    Are you totally jealous that I’m going to Buenos Aires? You should be.

    : )

    1. I’m glad you liked it! I’m trying to make my writing more humorous, because I personally think funny things are more fun than serious things. Most of the time.

      Regarding BsAs… no! I’m not jealous! What would give you that idea? Geeze… 😉

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